FORTUNATELY for me, the landlord did not open the door when I
rang. A stupid maid-of-all-work, who never thought of asking me
for my name, let me in. Mrs. Macallan was at home, and had no
visitors with her. Giving me this information, the maid led the
way upstairs, and showed me into the drawing-room without a word
of announcement.
My mother-in-law was sitting alone, near a work-table, knitting.
The moment I appeared in the doorway she laid aside her work,
and, rising, signed to me with a commanding gesture of her hand
to let her speak first.
"I know what you have come here for," she said. "You have come
here to ask questions. Spare yourself, and spare me. I warn you
beforehand that I will not answer any questions relating to my
son."
It was firmly, but not harshly said. I spoke firmly in my turn.
"I have not come here, madam, to ask questions about your son," I
answered. "I have come, if you will excuse me, to ask you a
question about yourself."
She started, and looked at me keenly over her spectacles. I had
evidently taken her by surprise.
"What is the question?" she inquired.
"I now know for the first time, madam, that your name is
Macallan," I said. "Your son has married me under the name of
Woodville. The only honorable explanation of this circumstance,
so far as I know, is that my husband is your son by a first
marriage. The happiness of my life is at stake. Will you kindly
consider my position? Will you let me ask you if you have been
twice married, and if the name of your first husband was
Woodville?"
She considered a little before she replied.
"The question is a perfectly natural one in your position," she
said. "But I think I had better not answer it."
"May I as k why?"
"Certainly. If I answered you, I should only lead to other
questions, and I should be obliged to decline replying to them. I
am sorry to disappoint you. I repeat what I said on the beach--I
have no other feeling than a feeling of sympathy toward you. If
you had consulted me before your marriage, I should willingly
have admitted you to my fullest confidence. It is now too late.
You are married. I recommend you to make the best of your
position, and to rest satisfied with things as they are."
"Pardon me, madam," I remonstrated. "As things are, I don't know
that I am married. All I know, unless you enlighten me, is that
your son has married me under a name that is not his own. How can
I be sure whether I am or am not his lawful wife?"
"I believe there can be no doubt that you are lawfully my son's
wife," Mrs. Macallan answered. "At any rate it is easy to take a
legal opinion on the subject. If the opinion is that you are
not lawfully married, my son (whatever his faults and failings
may be) is a gentleman. He is incapable of willfully deceiving a
woman who loves and trusts him. He will do you justice. On my
side, I will do you justice, too. If the legal opinion is adverse
to your rightful claims, I will promise to answer any questions
which you may choose to put to me. As it is, I believe you to be
lawfully my son's wife; and I say again, make the best of your
position. Be satisfied with your husband's affectionate devotion
to you. If you value your peace of mind and the happiness of your
life to come, abstain from attempting to know more than you know
now."
She sat down again with the air of a woman who had said her last
word.
Further remonstrance would be useless; I could see it in her
face; I could hear it in her voice. I turned round to open the
drawing-room door.
"You are hard on me, madam," I said at parting. "I am at your
mercy, and I must submit."
She suddenly looked up, and answered me with a flush on her kind
and handsome old face.
"As God is my witness, child, I pity you from the bottom of my
heart!"
After that extraordinary outburst of feeling, she took up her
work with one hand, and signed to me with the other to leave her.
I bowed to her in silence, and went out.
I had entered the house far from feeling sure of the course I
ought to take in the future. I left the house positively
resolved, come what might of it, to discover the secret which the
mother and son were hiding from me. As to the question of the
name, I saw it now in the light in which I ought to have seen it
from the first. If Mrs. Macallan had been twice married (as I
had rashly chosen to suppose), she would certainly have shown
some signs of recognition when she heard me addressed by her
first husband's name. Where all else was mystery, there was no
mystery here. Whatever his reasons might be, Eustace had
assuredly married me under an assumed name.
Approaching the door of our lodgings, I saw my husband walking
backward and forward before it, evidently waiting for my return.
If he asked me the question, I decided to tell him frankly where
I had been, and what had passed between his mother and myself.
He hurried to meet me with signs of disturbance in his face and
manner.
"I have a favor to ask of you, Valeria," he said. "Do you mind
returning with me to London by the next train?"
I looked at him. In the popular phrase, I could hardly believe my
own ears.
"It's a matter of business," he went on, "of no interest to any
one but myself, and it requires my presence in London. You don't
wish to sail just yet, as I understand? I can't leave you here by
yourself. Have you any objection to going to London for a day or
two?"
I made no objection. I too was eager to go back.
In London I could obtain the legal opinion which would tell me
whether I were lawfully married to Eustace or not. In London I
should be within reach of the help and advice of my father's
faithful old clerk. I could confide in Benjamin as I could
confide in no one else. Dearly as I loved my uncle Starkweather,
I shrank from communicating with him in my present need. His wife
had told me that I made a bad beginning when I signed the wrong
name in the marriage register. Shall I own it? My pride shrank
from acknowledging, before the honeymoon was over, that his wife
was right.
In two hours more we were on the railway again. Ah, what a
contrast that second journey presented to the first! On our way
to Ramsgate everybody could see that we were a newly wedded
couple. On our way to London nobody noticed us; nobody would have
doubted that we had been married for years.
We went to a private hotel in the neighborhood of Portland Place.
After breakfast the next morning Eustace announced that he must
leave me to attend to his business. I had previously mentioned to
him that I had some purchases to make in London. He was quite
willing to let me go out alone, on the condition that I should
take a carriage provided by the hotel.
My heart was heavy that morning: I felt the unacknowledged
estrangement that had grown up between us very keenly. My husband
opened the door to go out, and came back to kiss me before he
left me by myself. That little after-thought of tenderness
touched me. Acting on the impulse of the moment, I put my arm
round his neck, and held him to me gently.
"My darling," I said, "give me all your confidence. I know that
you love me. Show that you can trust me too."
He sighed bitterly, and drew back from me--in sorrow, not in
anger.
"I thought we had agreed, Valeria, not to return to that subject
again," he said. "You only distress yourself and distress me."
He left the room abruptly, as if he dare not trust himself to say
more. It is better not to dwell on what I felt after this last
repulse. I ordered the carriage at once. I was eager to find a
refuge from my own thoughts in movement and change.
I drove to the shops first, and made the purchases which I had
mentioned to Eustace by way of giving a reason for going out.
Then I devoted myself to the object which I really had at heart.
I went to old Benjamin's little villa, in the by-ways of St.
John's Wood.
As soon as he had got over the first surprise of seeing me, he
noticed that I looked pale and care-worn. I confessed at once
that I was in trouble. We sat down together by the bright
fireside in his little library (Benjamin, as far as his means
would allow, was a great collector of books), and there I told my
old friend, frankly and truly, all that I have told here.
He was too distressed to say much. He fervently pressed my hand;
he fervently thanked God that my father had not lived to hear
what he had heard. Then, after a pause, he repeated my
mother-in-law's name to himself in a doubting, questioning tone.
"Macallan?" he said. "Macallan? Where have I heard that name? Why
does it sound as if it wasn't strange to me?"
He gave up pursuing the lost recollection, and asked, very
earnestly, what he could do for me. I answered that he could help
me, in the first place, to put an end to the doubt--an
unendurable doubt to me--whether I were lawfully married or
not. His energy of the old days when he had conducted my father's
business showed itself again the moment I said those words.
"Your carriage is at the door, my dear," he answered. "Come with
me to my own lawyer, without wasting another moment."
We drove to Lincoln's Inn Fields.
At my request Benjamin put my case to the lawyer as the case of a
friend in whom I was interested. The answer was given without
hesitation. I had married, honestly believing my husband's name
to be the name under which I had known him. The witnesses to my
marriage--my uncle, my aunt, and Benjamin--had acted, as I had
acted, in perfect good faith. Under those circumstances, there
was no doubt about the law. I was legally married. Macallan or
Woodville, I was his wife.
This decisive answer relieved me of a heavy anxiety. I accepted
my old friend's invitation to return with him to St. John's Wood,
and to make my luncheon at his early dinner.
On our way back I reverted to the one other subject which was now
uppermost in my mind. I reiterated my resolution to discover why
Eustace had not married me under the name that was really his own.
My companion shook his head, and entreated me to consider well
beforehand what I proposed doing. His advice to me--so strangely
do extremes meet!--was my mother-in-law's advice, repeated almost
word for word. "Leave things as they are, my dear. In the
interest of your own peace of mind be satisfied with your
husband's affection. You know that you are his wife, and you know
that he loves you. Surely that is enough?"
I had but one answer to this. Life, on such conditions as my good
friend had just stated, would be simply unendurable to me.
Nothing could alter my resolution--for this plain reason, that
nothing could reconcile me to living with my husband on the terms
on which we were living now. It only rested with Benjamin to say
whether he would give a helping hand to his master's daughter or
not.
The old man's answer was thoroughly characteristic of him.
"Mention what you want of me, my dear," was all he said.
We were then passing a street in the neighborhood of Portman
Square. I was on the point of speaking again, when the words were
suspended on my lips. I saw my husband.
He was just descending the steps of a house--as if leaving it
after a visit. His eyes were on the ground: he did not look up
when the-carriage passed. As the servant closed the door behind
him, I noticed that the number of the house was Sixteen. At the
next corner I saw the name of the street. It was Vivian Place.
"Do you happen to know who lives at Number Sixteen Vivian Place?"
I inquired of my companion.
Benjamin started. My question was certainly a strange one, after
what he had just said to me.
"No," he replied. "Why do you ask?"
"I have just seen Eustace leaving that house."
"Well, my dear, and what of that?"
"My mind is in a bad way, Benjamin. Everything my husband does
that I don't understand rouses my suspicion now."
Benjamin lifted his withered old hands, and let them drop on his
knees again in mute lamentation over me.
"I tell you again," I went on, "my life is unendurable to me. I
won't answer for what I may do if I am left much longer to live
in doubt of the one man on earth whom I love. You have had
experience of the world. Suppose you were shut out from Eustace's
confidence, as I am? Suppose you were as fond of him as I am, and
felt your position as bitterly as I feel it--what would you do?"
The question was plain. Benjamin met it with a plain answer.
"I think I should find my way, my dear, to some intimate friend
of your husband's," he said, "and make a few discreet inquiries
in that quarter first."
Some intimate friend of my husband's? I considered with myself.
There was but one friend of his whom I knew of--my uncle's
correspondent, Major Fitz-David. My heart beat fast as the name
recurred to my memory. Suppose I followed Benjamin's advice?
Suppose I applied to Major Fitz-David? Even if he, too, refused
to answer my questions, my position would not be more helpless
than it was now. I determined to make the attempt. The only
difficulty in the way, so far, was to discover the Major's
address. I had given back his letter to Doctor Starkweather, at
my uncle's own request. I remembered that the address from which
the Major wrote was somewhere in London--and I remembered no
more.
"Thank you, old friend; you have given me an idea already," I
said to Benjamin. "Have you got a Directory in your house?"
"No, my dear," he rejoined, looking very much puzzled. "But I can
easily send out and borrow one."
We returned to the villa. The servant was sent at once to the
nearest stationer's to borrow a Directory. She returned with the
book just as we sat down to dinner. Searching for the Major's
name under the letter F, I was startled by a new discovery.
"Benjamin!" I said. "This is a strange coincidence. Look here!"
He looked where I pointed. Major Fitz-David's address was Number
Sixteen Vivian Place--the very house which I had seen my husband
leaving as we passed in the carriage!