It was an evil day for Hughie when he made friends with Foxy and
became his partner in the store business, for Hughie's hoardings
were never large, and after buying a Christmas present for his
mother, according to his unfailing custom, they were reduced to a
very few pennies indeed. The opportunities for investment in his
new position were many and alluring. But all Hughie's soul went
out in longing for a pistol which Foxy had among his goods, and
which would fire not only caps, but powder and ball, and his
longing was sensibly increased by Foxy generously allowing him to
try the pistol, first at a mark, which Hughie hit, and then at a
red squirrel, which he missed. By day Hughie yearned for this
pistol, by night he dreamed of it, but how he might secure it for
his own he did not know.
Upon this point he felt he could not consult his mother, his usual
counselor, for he had an instinctive feeling that she would not
approve of his having a pistol in his possession; and as for his
father, Hughie knew he would soon make "short work of any such
folly." What would a child like Hughie do with a pistol? He had
never had a pistol in all his life. It was difficult for the
minister to realize that young Canada was a new type, and he would
have been more than surprised had any one told him that already
Hughie, although only twelve, was an expert with a gun, having for
many a Saturday during the long, sunny fall roamed the woods, at
first in company with Don, and afterwards with Don's gun alone, or
followed by Fusie or Davie Scotch. There was thus no help for
Hughie at home. The price of the pistol reduced to the lowest
possible sum, was two dollars and a half, which Foxy declared was
only half what he would charge any one else but his partner.
"How much have you got altogether?" he asked Hughie one day, when
Hughie was groaning over his poverty.
"Six pennies and two dimes," was Hughie's disconsolate reply. He
had often counted them over. "Of course," he went on, "there's my
XL knife. That's worth a lot, only the point of the big blade's
broken."
"Huh!" grunted Foxy, "there's jist the stub left."
"It's not!" said Hughie, indignantly. "It's more than half, then.
And it's bully good stuff, too. It'll nick any knife in the
school"; and Hughie dived into his pocket and pulled out his knife
with a handful of boy's treasures.
"Hullo!" said Foxy, snatching a half-dollar from Hughie's hand,
"whose is that?"
"Here, you, give me that! That's not mine," cried Hughie.
"Whose is it, then?"
"I don't know. I guess it's mother's. I found it on the kitchen
floor, and I know it's mother's."
"How do you know?"
"I know well enough. She often puts money on the window, and it
fell down. Give me that, I tell you!" Hughie's eyes were blazing
dangerously, and Foxy handed back the half-dollar.
"O, all right. You're a pretty big fool," he said, indifferently.
"'Losers seekers, finders keepers.' That's my rule."
Hughie was silent, holding his precious half-dollar in his hand,
deep in his pocket.
"Say," said Foxy, changing the subject, "I guess you had better pay
up for your powder and caps you've been firing."
"I haven't been firing much," said Hughie, confidently.
"Well, you've been firing pretty steady for three weeks."
"Three weeks! It isn't three weeks."
"It is. There's this week, and last week when the ink-bottle bust
too soon and burnt Fusie's eyebrows, and the week before when you
shot Aleck Dan, and it was the week before that you began, and
that'll make it four."
"How much?" asked Hughie, desperately, resolved to know the worst.
Foxy had been preparing for this. He took down a slate-pencil box
with a sliding lid, and drew out a bundle of crumbled slips which
Hughie, with sinking heart, recognized as his own vouchers.
"Sixteen pennies." Foxy had taken care of this part of the
business.
"Sixteen!" exclaimed Hughie, snatching up the bunch.
"Count them yourself," said Foxy, calmly, knowing well he could
count on Hughie's honesty.
"Seventeen," said Hughie, hopelessly.
"But one of those I didn't count," said Foxy, generously. "That's
the one I gave you to try at the first. Now, I tell you," went on
Foxy, insinuatingly, "you have got how much at home?" he inquired.
"Six pennies and two dimes." Hughie's tone indicated despair.
"You've got six pennies and two dimes. Six pennies and two dimes.
That's twenty--that's thirty-two cents. Now if you paid me that
thirty-two cents, and if you could get a half-dollar anywhere, that
would be eighty-two. I tell you what I would do. I would let you
have that pistol for only one dollar more. That ain't much," he
said.
"Only a dollar more," said Hughie, calculating rapidly. "But where
would I get the fifty cents?" The dollar seemed at that moment to
Hughie quite a possible thing, if only the fifty cents could be
got. The dollar was more remote, and therefore less pressing.
Foxy had an inspiration.
"I tell you what. You borrow that fifty cents you found, and then
you can pay me eighty-two cents, and--and--" he hesitated--"perhaps
you will find some more, or something."
Hughie's eyes were blazing with great fierceness.
Foxy hastened to add, "And I'll let you have the pistol right off,
and you'll pay me again some time when you can, the other dollar."
Hughie checked the indignant answer that was at his lips. To have
the pistol as his own, to take home with him at night, and to keep
all Saturday--the temptation was great, and coming suddenly upon
Hughie, was too much for him. He would surely, somehow, soon pay
back the fifty cents, he argued, and Foxy would wait for the
dollar. And yet that half-dollar was not his, but his mother's,
and more than that, if he asked her for it, he was pretty sure she
would refuse. But then, he doubted his mother's judgment as to his
ability to use firearms, and besides, this pistol at that price was
a great bargain, and any of the boys might pick it up. Poor
Hughie! He did not know how ancient was that argument, nor how
frequently it had done duty in smoothing the descent to the lower
regions. The pistol was good to look at, the opportunity of
securing it was such as might not occur again, and as for the half-
dollar, there could be no harm in borrowing that for a little
while.
That was Foxy's day of triumph, but to Hughie it was the beginning
of many woeful days and nights. And his misery came upon him swift
and sure, in the very moment that he turned in from the road at the
manse gate, for he knew that at the end of the lane would be his
mother, and his winged feet, upon which he usually flew from the
gate home, dragged heavily.
He found his mother, not at the door, but in the large, pleasant
living-room, which did for all kinds of rooms in the manse. It was
dining-room and sewing-room, nursery and playroom, but it was
always a good room to enter, and in spite of playthings strewn
about, or snippings of cloth, or other stour, it was always a place
of brightness and of peace, for it was there the mother was most
frequently to be found. This evening she was at the sewing-machine
busy with Hughie's Sunday clothes, with the baby asleep in the
cradle beside her in spite of the din of the flying wheels, and
little Robbie helping to pull through the long seam. Hughie shrank
from the warm, bright, loving atmosphere that seemed to fill the
room, hating to go in, but in a moment he realized that he must
"make believe" with his mother, and the pain of it and the shame of
it startled and amazed him. He was glad that his mother did not
notice him enter, and by the time he had put away his books he had
braced himself to meet her bright smile and her welcome kiss.
The mother did not apparently notice his hesitation.
"Well, my boy, home again?" she cried, holding out her hand to him
with the air of good comradeship she always wore with him. "Are
you very hungry?"
"You bet!" said Hughie, kissing her, and glad of the chance to get
away.
"Well, you will find something pretty nice in the pantry we saved
for you. Guess what."
"Don't know."
"I know," shouted Robbie. "Pie! It's muzzie's pie. Muzzie tept
it for 'oo."
"Now, Robbie, you were not to tell," said his mother, shaking her
finger at him.
"O-o-o, I fordot," said Robbie, horrified at his failure to keep
his promise.
"Never mind. That's a lesson you will have to learn many times,
how to keep those little lips shut. And the pie will be just as
good."
"Thank you, mother," said Hughie. "But I don't want your pie."
"My pie!" said the mother. "Pie isn't good for old women."
"Old women!" said Hughie, indignantly. "You're the youngest and
prettiest woman in the congregation," he cried, and forgetting for
the moment his sense of meanness, he threw his arms round his
mother.
"Oh, Hughie, shame on you! What a dreadful flatterer you are!"
said his mother. "Now, run away to your pie, and then to your
evening work, my boy, and we will have a good lesson together after
supper."
Hughie ran away, glad to get out of her presence, and seizing the
pie, carried it out to the barn and hurled it far into the snow.
He felt sure that a single bite of it would choke him.
If he could only have seen Foxy any time for the next hour, how
gladly would he have given him back his pistol, but by the time he
had fed his cow and the horses, split the wood and carried it in,
and prepared kindling for the morning's fires, he had become
accustomed to his new self, and had learned his first lesson in
keeping his emotions out of his face. But from that night, and
through all the long weeks of the breaking winter, when games in
the woods were impossible by reason of the snow and water, and when
the roads were deep with mud, Hughie carried his burden with him,
till life was one long weariness and dread.
And through these days he was Foxy's slave. A pistol without
ammunition was quite useless. Foxy's stock was near at hand. It
was easy to write a voucher for a penny's worth of powder or caps,
and consequently the pile in Foxy's pencil-box steadily mounted
till Hughie was afraid to look at it. His chance of being free
from his own conscience was still remote enough.
During these days, too, Foxy reveled in his power over his rival,
and ground his slave in bitter bondage, subjecting him to such
humiliation as made the school wonder and Hughie writhe; and if
ever Hughie showed any sign of resentment or rebellion, Foxy could
tame him to groveling submission by a single word. "Well, I guess
I'll go down to-night to see your mother," was all he needed to say
to make Hughie grovel again. For with Hughie it was not the fear
of his father's wrath and heavy punishment, though that was
terrible enough, but the dread that his mother should know, that
made him grovel before his tyrant, and wake at night in a cold
sweat. His mother's tender anxiety for his pale face and gloomy
looks only added to the misery of his heart.
He had no one in whom he could confide. He could not tell any of
the boys, for he was unwilling to lose their esteem, besides, it
was none of their business; he was terrified of his father's wrath,
and from his mother, his usual and unfailing resort in every
trouble of his whole life, he was now separated by his terrible
secret.
Then Foxy began to insist upon payment of his debts. Spring was at
hand, the store would soon be closed up, for business was slack in
the summer, and besides, Foxy had other use for his money.
"Haven't you got any money at all in your house?" Foxy sneered one
day, when Hughie was declaring his inability to meet his debts.
"Of course we have," cried Hughie, indignantly.
"Don't believe it," said Foxy, contemptuously.
"Father's drawer is sometimes full of dimes and half-dimes. At
least, there's an awful lot on Mondays, from the collections, you
know," said Hughie.
"Well, then, you had better get some for me, somehow," said Foxy.
"You might borrow some from the drawer for a little while."
"That would be stealing," said Hughie.
"You wouldn't mean to keep it," said Foxy. "You would only take it
for a while. It would just be borrowing."
"It wouldn't," said Hughie, firmly. "It's taking out of his
drawer. It's stealing, and I won't steal."
"Huh! you're mighty good all at once. What about that half-
dollar?"
"You said yourself that wasn't stealing," said Hughie, passionately.
"Well, what's the difference? You said it was your mother's, and
this is your father's. It's all the same, except that you're
afraid to take your father's."
"I'm not afraid. At least it isn't that. But it's different to
take money out of a drawer, that isn't your own."
"Huh! Mighty lot of difference! Money's money, wherever it is.
Besides, if you borrowed this from your father, you could pay back
your mother and me. You would pay the whole thing right off."
Once more Hughie argued with himself. To be free from Foxy's
hateful tyranny, and to be clear again with his mother--for that he
would be willing to suffer almost anything. But to take money out
of that drawer was awfully like stealing. Of course he would pay
it back, and after all it would only be borrowing. Besides, it
would enable him to repay what he owed to his mother and to Foxy.
Through all the mazes of specious argument Hughie worked his way,
arriving at no conclusion, except that he carried with him a
feeling that if he could by some means get that money out of the
drawer in a way that would not be stealing, it would be a vast
relief, greater than words could tell.
That night brought him the opportunity. His father and mother were
away at the prayer meeting. There was only Jessie left in the
house, and she was busy with the younger children. With the firm
resolve that he would not take a single half-dime from his father's
drawer, he went into the study. He would like to see if the drawer
were open. Yes, it was open, and the Sabbath's collection lay
there with all its shining invitation. He tried making up the
dollar and a half out of the dimes and half-dimes. What a lot of
half-dimes it took! But when he used the quarters and dimes, how
much smaller the piles were. Only two quarters and five dimes made
up the dollar, and the pile in the drawer looked pretty much the
same as before. Another quarter-dollar withdrawn from the drawer
made little difference. He looked at the little heaps on the
table. He believed he could make Foxy take that for his whole
debt, though he was sure he owed him more. Perhaps he had better
make certain. He transferred two more dimes and a half-dime from
the drawer to the table. It was an insignificant little heap.
That would certainly clear off his whole indebtedness and make him
a free man.
He slipped the little heaps of money from the table into his
pocket, and then suddenly he realized that he had never decided to
take the money. The last resolve he could remember making was
simply to see how the dollar and a half looked. Without noticing,
he had passed the point of final decision. Alas! like many
another, Hughie found the going easy and the slipping smooth upon
the down incline. Unconsciously he had slipped into being a thief.
Now he could not go back. His absorbing purpose was concealment.
Quietly shutting the drawer, he was slipping hurriedly up to his
own room, when on the stairway he met Jessie.
"What are you doing here, Jessie?" he asked, sharply.
"Putting Robbie off to bed," said Jessie, in surprise. "What's the
matter with you?"
"What's the matter?" echoed Hughie, smitten with horrible fear that
perhaps she knew. "I just wanted to know," he said, weakly.
He slipped past her, holding his pocket tight lest the coins should
rattle. When he reached his room he stood listening in the dark to
Jessie going down the stairs. He was sure she suspected something.
He would go back and put the money in the drawer again, whenever
she reached the kitchen. He stood there with his heart-beats
filling his ears, waiting for the kitchen door to slam.
Then he resolved he would wrap the money up in paper and put it
safely away, and go down and see if Jessie knew. He found one of
his old copybooks, and began tearing out a leaf. What a noise it
made! Robbie would surely wake up, and then Jessie would come back
with the light. He put the copy-book under the quilt, and holding
it down firmly with one hand, removed the leaf with the other.
With great care he wrapped up the dimes and half-dimes by
themselves. They fitted better together. Then he took up the
quarters, and was proceeding to fold them in a similar parcel, when
he heard Jessie's voice from below.
"Hughie, what are you doing?" She was coming up the stair.
He jumped from the bed to go to meet her. A quarter fell on the
floor and rolled under the bed. It seemed to Hughie as if it would
never stop rolling, and as if Jessie must hear it. Wildly he
scrambled on the floor in the dark, seeking for the quarter, while
Jessie came nearer and nearer.
"Are you going to bed already, Hughie?" she asked.
Quickly Hughie went out to the hall to meet her.
"Yes," he yawned, gratefully seizing upon her suggestion. "I'm
awfully sleepy. Give me the candle, Jessie," he said, snatching it
from her hand. "I want to go downstairs."
"Hughie, you are very rude. What would your mother say? Let me
have the candle immediately, I want to get Robbie's stockings."
Hughie's heart stood still.
"I'll throw them down, Jessie. I want the candle downstairs just a
minute."
"Leave that candle with me," insisted Jessie. "There's another on
the dining-room table you can get."
"I'll not be a minute," said Hughie, hurrying downstairs. "You
come down, Jessie, I want to ask you something. I'll throw you
Robbie's stockings."
"Come back here, the rude boy that you are," said Jessie, crossly,
"and bring me that candle."
There was no reply. Hughie was standing, pale and shaking, in the
dining-room, listening intently for Jessie's step. Would she go
into his room, or would she come down? Every moment increased the
agony of his fear.
At length, with a happy inspiration, he went to the cupboard,
opened the door noisily, and began rattling the dishes.
"Mercy me!" he heard Jessie exclaim at the top of the stair. "That
boy will be my death. Hughie," she called, "just shut that
cupboard! You know your mother doesn't like you to go in there."
"I only want a little," called out Hughie, still moving the dishes,
and hearing, to his great relief, Jessie's descending step. In
desperation he seized a dish of black currant preserves which he
found on the cupboard shelf, and spilled it over the dishes and
upon the floor just as Jessie entered the room.
"Land sakes alive, boy! Will you never be done your mischief?" she
cried, rushing toward him.
"Oh!" he said, "I spilt it."
"Spilt it!" echoed Jessie, indignantly, "you needn't be telling me
that. Bring me a cloth from the kitchen."
"I don't know where it is, Jessie," cried Hughie, slipping upstairs
again with his candle.
To his great relief he saw that Jessie's attention was so entirely
taken up with removing the stains of the preserves from the
cupboard shelves and dishes, that she for the moment forgot
everything else, Robbie's stockings included.
Hurrying to his room, and shading the candle with his hand lest the
light should waken his little brother, he hastily seized the money
upon the bed quilt, and after a few moments' searching under the
bed, found the strayed quarter.
With these in his hand he passed into his mother's room. Leaving
the candle there, he came back to the head of the stairs and
listened for a moment, with great satisfaction, to Jessie muttering
to herself while she cleaned up the mess he had made. Then he
turned, and with trembling fingers he swiftly made up the quarter-
dollars into another parcel. With a great sigh of relief he put
the two parcels in his pocket, and seizing his candle turned to
leave the room. As he did so, he caught sight of himself in the
glass. With a great shock of surprise he stood gazing at the
terrified, white face, with the staring eyes.
"What a fool I am!" he said, looking at himself in the glass.
"Nobody will know, and I'll pay this back soon."
His eyes wandered to a picture which stood on a little shelf beside
the glass. It was a picture of his mother, the one he loved best
of all he had ever seen of her.
There was a sudden stab of pain at his heart, his breath came in a
great sob. For a moment he looked into the eyes that looked back
at him so full of love and reproach.
"I won't do it," he said, grinding his teeth hard, and forthwith
turned to go to his father's study.
But as he left the room he saw Jessie half-way up the stairs.
"What are you doing now?" she cried, wrathfully. "Up to some
mischief, I doubt."
With a sudden, inexplicable rage, Hughie turned toward her.
"It's none of your business! You mind your own business, will you,
and leave me alone." The terrible emotions of the last few minutes
were at the back of his rage.
"Just wait, you," said Jessie, "till your mother comes. Then
you'll hear it."
"You shut your mouth!" cried Hughie, his passion sweeping his whole
being like a tempest. "You shut your mouth, you old cat, or I'll
throw this candle at you." He raised the candle high in his hand
as he spoke, and altogether looked so desperate that Jessie stood
in terror lest he should make good his threat.
"Stop, now, Hughie," she entreated. "You will be setting the house
on fire."
Hughie hesitated a moment, and then turned from her, and going into
his room, banged the door in her face, and Jessie, not knowing what
to make of it all, went slowly downstairs again, forgetting once
more Robbie's stockings.
"The old cat!" said Hughie to himself. "She just stopped me. I
was going to put it back."
The memory that he had resolved to undo his wrong brought him a
curious sense of relief.
"I was just going to put it back," he said, "when she had to
interfere."
He was conscious of a sense of injury against Jessie. It was not
his fault that that money was not now in the drawer.
"I'll put it back in the morning, anyhow," he said, firmly. But
even as he spoke he was conscious of an infinality in his
determination, while he refused to acknowledge to himself a secret
purpose to leave the question open till the morning. But this
determination, inconclusive though it was, brought him a certain
calm of mind, so that when his mother came into his room she found
him sound asleep.
She stood beside his bed looking down upon him for a few moments,
with face full of anxious sadness.
"There's something wrong with the boy," she said to herself,
stooping to kiss him. "There's something wrong with him," she
repeated, as she left the room. "He's not the same."
During these weeks she had been conscious that Hughie had changed
in some way to her. The old, full, frank confidence was gone.
There was a constraint in his manner she could not explain. "He is
no longer a child," she would say to herself, seeking to allay the
pain in her heart. "A boy must have his secrets. It is foolish in
me to think anything else. Besides, he is not well. He is growing
too fast." And indeed, Hughie's pale, miserable face gave ground
enough for this opinion.
"That boy is not well," she said to her husband.
"Which boy?"
"Hughie," she replied. "He is looking miserable, and somehow he is
different."
"Oh, nonsense! He eats well enough, and sleeps well enough," said
her husband, making light of her fears.
"There's something wrong," repeated his wife. "And he hates his
school."
"Well, I don't wonder at that," said her husband, sharply. "I
don't see how any boy of spirit could take much pleasure in that
kind of a school. The boys are just wasting their time, and worse
than that, they have lost all the old spirit. I must see to it
that the policy of those close-fisted trustees is changed. I am
not going to put up with those chits of girls teaching any longer."
"There may be something in what you say," said his wife, sadly,
"but certainly Hughie is always begging to stay at home from
school."
"And indeed, he might as well stay home," answered her husband,
"for all the good he gets."
"I do wish we had a good man in charge," replied his wife, with a
great sigh. "It is very important that these boys should have a
good, strong man over them. How much it means to a boy at Hughie's
time of life! But so few are willing to come away into the
backwoods here for so small a salary."
Suddenly her husband laid down his pipe.
"I have it!" he exclaimed. "The very thing! Wouldn't this be the
very thing for young Craven. You remember, the young man that
Professor MacLauchlan was writing about."
His wife shook her head very decidedly.
"Not at all," she said. "Didn't Professor MacLauchlan say he was
dissipated?"
"O, just a little wild. Got going with some loose companions. Out
here there would be no temptation."
"I am not at all sure of that," said his wife, "and I would not
like Hughie to be under his influence."
"MacLauchlan says he is a young man of fine disposition and of fine
parts," argued her husband, "and if temptation were removed from
him he believes he would turn out a good man."
Mrs. Murray shook her head doubtfully. "He is not the man to put
Hughie under just now."
"What are we to do with Hughie?" replied her husband. "He is
getting no good in the school as it is, and we cannot send him away
yet."
"Send him away!" exclaimed his wife. "No, no, not a child like
that."
"Craven might be a very good man," continued her husband. "He
might perhaps live with us. I know you have more than enough to do
now," he added, answering her look of dismay, "but he would be a
great help to Hughie with his lessons, and might start him in his
classics. And then, who knows what you might make of the young
man."
Mrs. Murray did not respond to her husband's smile, but only
replied, "I am sure I wish I knew what is the matter with the boy,
and I wish he could leave school for a while."
"O, the boy is all right," said her husband, impatiently. "Only a
little less noisy, as far as I can see."
"No, he is not the same," replied his wife. "He is different to
me." There was almost a cry of pain in her voice.
"Now, now, don't imagine things. Boys are full of notions at
Hughie's age. He may need a change, but that is all."
With this the mother tried to quiet the tumult of anxious fear and
pain she found rising in her heart, but long after the house was
still, and while both her boy and his father lay asleep, she kept
pouring forth that ancient sacrifice of self-effacing love before
the feet of God.