"I have made a hobby of the study of cigar ends," said the stranger,
as the Associated Shades settled back to hear his account of himself.
"From my earliest youth, when I used surreptitiously to remove the
unsmoked ends of my father's cigars and break them up, and, in
hiding, smoke them in an old clay pipe which I had presented to me by
an ancient sea-captain of my acquaintance, I have been interested in
tobacco in all forms, even including these self-same despised
unsmoked ends; for they convey to my mind messages, sentiments,
farces, comedies, and tragedies which to your minds would never
become manifest through their agency."
The company drew closer together and formed themselves in a more
compact mass about the speaker. It was evident that they were
beginning to feel an unusual interest in this extraordinary person,
who had come among them unheralded and unknown. Even Shylock stopped
calculating percentages for an instant to listen.
"Do you mean to tell us," demanded Shakespeare, "that the unsmoked
stub of a cigar will suggest the story of him who smoked it to your
mind?"
"I do," replied the stranger, with a confident smile. "Take this
one, for instance, that I have picked up here upon the wharf; it
tells me the whole story of the intentions of Captain Kidd at the
moment when, in utter disregard of your rights, he stepped aboard
your House-boat, and, in his usual piratical fashion, made off with
it into unknown seas."
"But how do you know he smoked it?" asked Solomon, who deemed it the
part of wisdom to be suspicious of the stranger.
"There are two curious indentations in it which prove that. The
marks of two teeth, with a hiatus between, which you will see if you
look closely," said the stranger, handing the small bit of tobacco to
Sir Walter, "make that point evident beyond peradventure. The
Captain lost an eye-tooth in one of his later raids; it was knocked
out by a marine-spike which had been hurled at him by one of the crew
of the treasure-ship he and his followers had attacked. The adjacent
teeth were broken, but not removed. The cigar end bears the marks of
those two jagged molars, with the hiatus, which, as I have indicated,
is due to the destruction of the eye-tooth between them. It is not
likely that there was another man in the pirate's crew with teeth
exactly like the commander's, therefore I say there can be no doubt
that the cigar end was that of the Captain himself."
"Very interesting indeed," observed Blackstone, removing his wig and
fanning himself with it; "but I must confess, Mr. Chairman, that in
any properly constituted law court this evidence would long since
have been ruled out as irrelevant and absurd. The idea of two or
three hundred dignified spirits like ourselves, gathered together to
devise a means for the recovery of our property and the rescue of our
wives, yielding the floor to the delivering of a lecture by an entire
stranger on 'Cigar Ends He Has Met,' strikes me as ridiculous in the
extreme. Of what earthly interest is it to us to know that this or
that cigar was smoked by Captain Kidd?"
"Merely that it will help us on, your honor, to discover the
whereabouts of the said Kidd," interposed the stranger. "It is by
trifles, seeming trifles, that the greatest detective work is done.
My friends Le Coq, Hawkshaw, and Old Sleuth will bear me out in this,
I think, however much in other respects our methods may have
differed. They left no stone unturned in the pursuit of a criminal;
no detail, however trifling, uncared for. No more should we in the
present instance overlook the minutest bit of evidence, however
irrelevant and absurd at first blush it may appear to be. The truth
of what I say was very effectually proven in the strange case of the
Brokedale tiara, in which I figured somewhat conspicuously, but which
have never made public, because it involves a secret affecting the
integrity of one of the noblest families in the British Empire. I
really believe that mystery was solved easily and at once because I
happened to remember that the number of my watch was 86507B. How
trivial and yet how important it was, to what then transpired, you
will realize when I tell you the incident."
The stranger's manner was so impressive that there was a unanimous
and simultaneous movement upon the part of all present to get up
closer, so as the more readily to hear what he said, as a result of
which poor old Boswell was pushed overboard, and fell, with a loud
splash into the Styx. Fortunately, however, one of Charon's
pleasure-boats was close at hand, and in a short while the dripping,
sputtering spirit was drawn into it, wrung out, and sent home to dry.
The excitement attending this diversion having subsided, Solomon
asked:
"What was the incident of the lost tiara?"
"I am about to tell you," returned the stranger; "and it must be
understood that you are told in the strictest confidence, for, as I
say, the incident involves a state secret of great magnitude. In
life--in the mortal life--gentlemen, I was a detective by profession,
and, if I do say it, who perhaps should not, I was one of the most
interesting for purely literary purposes that has ever been known. I
did not find it necessary to go about saying 'Ha! ha!' as M. Le Coq
was accustomed to do to advertise his cleverness; neither did I
disguise myself as a drum-major and hide under a kitchen-table for
the purpose of solving a mystery involving the abduction of a parlor
stove, after the manner of the talented Hawkshaw. By mental
concentration alone, without fireworks or orchestral accompaniment of
any sort whatsoever, did I go about my business, and for that very
reason many of my fellow-sleuths were forced to go out of real
detective work into that line of the business with which the stage
has familiarized the most of us--a line in which nothing but
stupidity, luck, and a yellow wig is required of him who pursues it."
"This man is an impostor," whispered Le Coq to Hawkshaw.
"I've known that all along by the mole on his left wrist," returned
Hawkshaw, contemptuously.
"I suspected it the minute I saw he was not disguised," returned Le
Coq, knowingly. "I have observed that the greatest villains latterly
have discarded disguises, as being too easily penetrated, and
therefore of no avail, and merely a useless expense."
"Silence!" cried Confucius, impatiently. "How can the gentleman
proceed, with all this conversation going on in the rear?"
Hawkshaw and Le Coq immediately subsided, and the stranger went on.
"It was in this way that I treated the strange case of the lost
tiara," resumed the stranger. "Mental concentration upon seemingly
insignificant details alone enabled me to bring about the desired
results in that instance. A brief outline of the case is as follows:
It was late one evening in the early spring of 1894. The London
season was at its height. Dances, fetes of all kinds, opera, and the
theatres were in full blast, when all of a sudden society was
paralyzed by a most audacious robbery. A diamond tiara valued at
50,000 pounds sterling had been stolen from the Duchess of Brokedale,
and under circumstances which threw society itself and every
individual in it under suspicion--even his Royal Highness the Prince
himself, for he had danced frequently with the Duchess, and was known
to be a great admirer of her tiara. It was at half-past eleven
o'clock at night that the news of the robbery first came to my ears.
I had been spending the evening alone in my library making notes for
a second volume of my memoirs, and, feeling somewhat depressed, I was
on the point of going out for my usual midnight walk on Hampstead
Heath, when one of my servants, hastily entering, informed me of the
robbery. I changed my mind in respect to my midnight walk
immediately upon receipt of the news, for I knew that before one
o'clock some one would call upon me at my lodgings with reference to
this robbery. It could not be otherwise. Any mystery of such
magnitude could no more be taken to another bureau than elephants
could fly--"
"They used to," said Adam. "I once had a whole aviary full of winged
elephants. They flew from flower to flower, and thrusting their
probabilities deep into--"
"Their what?" queried Johnson, with a frown.
"Probabilities--isn't that the word? Their trunks," said Adam.
"Probosces, I imagine you mean," suggested Johnson.
"Yes--that was it. Their probosces," said Adam. "They were great
honey-gatherers, those elephants--far better than the bees, because
they could make so much more of it in a given time."
Munchausen shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid I'm outclassed by these
antediluvians," he said.
"Gentlemen! gentlemen!" cried Sir Walter. "These interruptions are
inexcusable!"
"That's what I think," said the stranger, with some asperity. "I'm
having about as hard a time getting this story out as I would if it
were a serial. Of course, if you gentlemen do not wish to hear it, I
can stop; but it must be understood that when I do stop I stop
finally, once and for all, because the tale has not a sufficiency of
dramatic climaxes to warrant its prolongation over the usual magazine
period of twelve months."
"Go on! go on!" cried some.
"Shut up!" cried others--addressing the interrupting members, of
course.
"As I was saying," resumed the stranger, "I felt confident that
within an hour, in some way or other, that case would be placed in my
hands. It would be mine either positively or negatively--that is to
say, either the person robbed would employ me to ferret out the
mystery and recover the diamonds, or the robber himself, actuated by
motives of self-preservation, would endeavor to direct my energies
into other channels until he should have the time to dispose of his
ill-gotten booty. A mental discussion of the probabilities inclined
me to believe that the latter would be the case. I reasoned in this
fashion: The person robbed is of exalted rank. She cannot move
rapidly because she is so. Great bodies move slowly. It is probable
that it will be a week before, according to the etiquette by which
she is hedged about, she can communicate with me. In the first
place, she must inform one of her attendants that she has been
robbed. He must communicate the news to the functionary in charge of
her residence, who will communicate with the Home Secretary, and from
him will issue the orders to the police, who, baffled at every step,
will finally address themselves to me. 'I'll give that side two
weeks,' I said. On the other hand, the robber: will he allow
himself to be lulled into a false sense of security by counting on
this delay, or will he not, noting my habit of occasionally entering
upon detective enterprises of this nature of my own volition, come to
me at once and set me to work ferreting out some crime that has never
been committed? My feeling was that this would happen, and I pulled
out my watch to see if it were not nearly time for him to arrive.
The robbery had taken place at a state ball at the Buckingham Palace.
'H'm!' I mused. 'He has had an hour and forty minutes to get here.
It is now twelve-twenty. He should be here by twelve-forty-five. I
will wait.' And hastily swallowing a cocaine tablet to nerve myself
up for the meeting, I sat down and began to read my Schopenhauer.
Hardly had I perused a page when there came a tap upon my door. I
rose with a smile, for I thought I knew what was to happen, opened
the door, and there stood, much to my surprise, the husband of the
lady whose tiara was missing. It was the Duke of Brokedale himself.
It is true he was disguised. His beard was powdered until it looked
like snow, and he wore a wig and a pair of green goggles; but I
recognized him at once by his lack of manners, which is an
unmistakable sign of nobility. As I opened the door, he began:
"'You are Mr.--'
"'I am,' I replied. 'Come in. You have come to see me about your
stolen watch. It is a gold hunting-case watch with a Swiss movement;
loses five minutes a day; stem-winder; and the back cover, which does
not bear any inscription, has upon it the indentations made by the
molars of your son Willie when that interesting youth was cutting his
teeth upon it.'"
"Wonderful!" cried Johnson.
"May I ask how you knew all that?" asked Solomon, deeply impressed.
"Such penetration strikes me as marvellous."
"I didn't know it," replied the stranger, with a smile. "What I said
was intended to be jocular, and to put Brokedale at his ease. The
Americans present, with their usual astuteness, would term it bluff.
It was. I merely rattled on. I simply did not wish to offend the
gentleman by letting him know that I had penetrated his disguise.
Imagine my surprise, however, when his eye brightened as I spoke, and
he entered my room with such alacrity that half the powder which he
thought disguised his beard was shaken off on to the floor. Sitting
down in the chair I had just vacated, he quietly remarked:
"'You are a wonderful man, sir. How did you know that I had lost my
watch?'
"For a moment I was nonplussed; more than that, I was completely
staggered. I had expected him to say at once that he had not lost
his watch, but had come to see me about the tiara; and to have him
take my words seriously was entirely unexpected and overwhelmingly
surprising. However, in view of his rank, I deemed it well to fall
in with his humour. 'Oh, as for that,' I replied, 'that is a part of
my business. It is the detective's place to know everything; and
generally, if he reveals the machinery by means of which he reaches
his conclusions, he is a fool, since his method is his secret, and
his secret his stock-in-trade. I do not mind telling you, however,
that I knew your watch was stolen by your anxious glance at my clock,
which showed that you wished to know the time. Now most rich
Americans have watches for that purpose, and have no hesitation about
showing them. If you'd had a watch, you'd have looked at it, not at
my clock.'
"My visitor laughed, and repeated what he had said about my being a
wonderful man.
"'And the dents which my son made cutting his teeth?' he added.
"'Invariably go with an American's watch. Rubber or ivory rings
aren't good enough for American babies to chew on,' said I. 'They
must have gold watches or nothing.'
"'And finally, how did you know I was a rich American?' he asked.
"'Because no other can afford to stop at hotels like the Savoy in the
height of the season,' I replied, thinking that the jest would end
there, and that he would now reveal his identity and speak of the
tiara. To my surprise, however, he did nothing of the sort.
"'You have an almost supernatural gift,' he said. 'My name is
Bunker. I am stopping at the Savoy. I am an American. I was rich
when I arrived here, but I'm not quite so bloated with wealth as I
was, now that I have paid my first week's bill. I have lost my
watch; such a watch, too, as you describe, even to the dents. Your
only mistake was that the dents were made by my son John, and not
Willie; but even there I cannot but wonder at you, for John and
Willie are twins, and so much alike that it sometimes baffles even
their mother to tell them apart. The watch has no very great value
intrinsically, but the associations are such that I want it back, and
I will pay 200 pounds for its recovery. I have no clew as to who
took it. It was numbered--'
"Here a happy thought struck me. In all my description of the watch
I had merely described my own, a very cheap affair which I had won at
a raffle. My visitor was deceiving me, though for what purpose I did
not on the instant divine. No one would like to suspect him of
having purloined his wife's tiara. Why should I not deceive him, and
at the same time get rid of my poor chronometer for a sum that
exceeded its value a hundredfold?"
"Good business!" cried Shylock.
The stranger smiled and bowed.
"Excellent," he said. "I took the words right out of his mouth. 'It
was numbered 86507B!' I cried, giving, of course, the number of my
own watch.
"He gazed at me narrowly for a moment, and then he smiled. 'You grow
more marvellous at every step. That was indeed the number. Are you
a demon?'
"'No,' I replied. 'Only something of a mind-reader.'
"Well, to be brief, the bargain was struck. I was to look for a
watch that I knew he hadn't lost, and was to receive 200 pounds if I
found it. It seemed to him to be a very good bargain, as, indeed, it
was, from his point of view, feeling, as he did, that there never
having been any such watch, it could not be recovered, and little
suspecting that two could play at his little game of deception, and
that under any circumstances I could foist a ten-shilling watch upon
him for two hundred pounds. This business concluded, he started to
go.
"'Won't you have a little Scotch?' I asked, as he started, feeling,
with all that prospective profit in view, I could well afford the
expense. 'It is a stormy night.'
"'Thanks, I will,' said he, returning and seating himself by my
table--still, to my surprise, keeping his hat on.
"'Let me take your hat,' I said, little thinking that my courtesy
would reveal the true state of affairs. The mere mention of the word
hat brought about a terrible change in my visitor; his knees
trembled, his face grew ghastly, and he clutched the brim of his
beaver until it cracked. He then nervously removed it, and I noticed
a dull red mark running about his forehead, just as there would be on
the forehead of a man whose hat fitted too tightly; and that mark,
gentlemen, had the undulating outline of nothing more nor less than a
tiara, and on the apex of the uttermost extremity was a deep
indentation about the size of a shilling, that could have been made
only by some adamantine substance! The mystery was solved! The
robber of the Duchess of Brokedale stood before me."
A suppressed murmur of excitement went through the assembled spirits,
and even Messrs. Hawkshaw and Le Coq were silent in the presence of
such genius.
"My plan of action was immediately formulated. The man was
completely at my mercy. He had stolen the tiara, and had it
concealed in the lining of his hat. I rose and locked the door. My
visitor sank with a groan into my chair.
"'Why did you do that?' he stammered, as I turned the key in the
lock.
"'To keep my Scotch whiskey from evaporating,' I said, dryly. 'Now,
my lord,' I added, 'it will pay your Grace to let me have your hat.
I know who you are. You are the Duke of Brokedale. The Duchess of
Brokedale has lost a valuable tiara of diamonds, and you have not
lost your watch. Somebody has stolen the diamonds, and it may be
that somewhere there is a Bunker who has lost such a watch as I have
described. The queer part of it all is,' I continued, handing him
the decanter, and taking a couple of loaded six-shooters out of my
escritoire--'the queer part of it all is that I have the watch and
you have the tiara. We'll swap the swag. Hand over the bauble,
please.'
"'But--' he began.
"'We won't have any butting, your Grace,' said I. 'I'll give you the
watch, and you needn't mind the 200 pounds; and you must give me the
tiara, or I'll accompany you forthwith to the police, and have a
search made of your hat. It won't pay you to defy me. Give it up.'
"He gave up the hat at once, and, as I suspected, there lay the
tiara, snugly stowed away behind the head-band.
"'You are a great fellow,' said I, as I held the tiara up to the
light and watched with pleasure the flashing brilliance of its gems.
"'I beg you'll not expose me,' he moaned. 'I was driven to it by
necessity.'
"'Not I,' I replied. 'As long as you play fair it will be all right.
I'm not going to keep this thing. I'm not married, and so have no
use for such a trifle; but what I do intend is simply to wait until
your wife retains me to find it, and then I'll find it and get the
reward. If you keep perfectly still, I'll have it found in such a
fashion that you'll never be suspected. If, on the other hand, you
say a word about to-night's events, I'll hand you over to the
police.'
"'Humph!' he said. 'You couldn't prove a case against me.'
"'I can prove any case against anybody,' I retorted. 'If you don't
believe it, read my book,' I added, and I handed him a copy of my
memoirs.
"'I've read it,' he answered, 'and I ought to have known better than
to come here. I thought you were only a literary success.' And with
a deep-drawn sigh he took the watch and went out. Ten days later I
was retained by the Duchess, and after a pretended search of ten days
more I found the tiara, restored it to the noble lady, and received
the 5000 pounds reward. The Duke kept perfectly quiet about our
little encounter, and afterwards we became stanch friends; for he was
a good fellow, and was driven to his desperate deed only by the
demands of his creditors, and the following Christmas he sent me the
watch I had given him, with the best wishes of the season.
"So, you see, gentlemen, in a moment, by quick wit and a mental
concentration of no mean order, combined with strict observance of
the pettiest details, I ferreted out what bade fair to become a great
diamond mystery; and when I say that this cigar end proves certain
things to my mind, it does not become you to doubt the value of my
conclusions."
"Hear! hear!" cried Raleigh, growing tumultuous with enthusiasm.
"Your name? your name?" came from all parts of the wharf.
The stranger, putting his hand into the folds of his coat, drew forth
a bundle of business cards, which he tossed, as the prestidigitator
tosses playing-cards, out among the audience, and on each of them was
found printed the words:
SHERLOCK HOLMES,
DETECTIVE.
FERRETING DONE HERE.
Plots for Sale.
"I think he made a mistake in not taking the 200 pounds for the
watch. Such carelessness destroys my confidence in him," said
Shylock, who was the first to recover from the surprise of the
revelation.