Thar was a dancin'-party Christmas
night on ``Hell fer Sartain.'' Jes tu'n
up the fust crick beyond the bend thar,
an' climb onto a stump, an' holler about
once, an' you'll see how the name come.
Stranger, hit's Hell fer sartain! Well,
Rich Harp was thar from the head-
waters, an' Harve Hall toted Nance
Osborn clean across the Cumberlan'.
Fust one ud swing Nance, an' then
t'other. Then they'd take a pull out'n
the same bottle o' moonshine, an'--fust
one an' then t'other--they'd swing her
agin. An' Abe Shivers a-settin' thar
by the fire a-bitin' his thumbs!
Well, things was sorter whoopin',
when somebody ups an' tells Harve
that Rich had said somep'n' agin
Nance an' him, an' somebody ups an'
tells Rich that Harve had said somep'n'
agin Nance an' him. In a minute, stranger,
hit was like two wild-cats in thar.
Folks got 'em parted, though, but thar
was no more a-swingin' of Nance that
night. Harve toted her back over the
Cumberlan', an' Rich's kinsfolks tuk him
up ``Hell fer Sartain''; but Rich got
loose, an' lit out lickety-split fer Nance
Osborn's. He knowed Harve lived too
fer over Black Mountain to go home
that night, an' he rid right across the
river an' up to Nance's house, an'
hollered fer Harve. Harve poked his head
out'n the loft--he knowed whut was
wanted--an' Harve says, ``Uh, come in
hyeh an' go to bed. Hit's too late!''
An' Rich seed him a-gapin' like a chicken,
an' in he walked, stumblin' might'
nigh agin the bed whar Nance was
a-layin', listenin' an' not sayin' a word.
Stranger, them two fellers slept
together plum frien'ly, an' they et together
plum frien'ly next mornin', an' they sa'ntered
down to the grocery plum frien'ly.
An' Rich says, ``Harve,'' says he,
``let's have a drink.'' ``All right, Rich,''
says Harve. An' Rich says, ``Harve,''
says he, ``you go out'n that door an'
I'll go out'n this door.'' ``All right,
Rich,'' says Harve, an' out they
walked, steady, an' thar was two shoots
shot, an' Rich an' Harve both drapped,
an' in ten minutes they was stretched
out on Nance's bed an' Nance was
a-lopin' away fer the yarb doctor.
The gal nussed 'em both plum faithful.
Rich didn't hev much to say, an'
Harve didn't hev much to say. Nance
was sorter quiet, an' Nance's mammy,
ole Nance, jes grinned. Folks come in
to ax atter 'em right peart. Abe Shivers
come cl'ar 'cross the river--powerful
frien'ly--an' ever' time Nance ud walk
out to the fence with him. One time
she didn't come back, an' ole Nance
fotched the boys thar dinner, an' ole
Nance fotched thar supper, an' then
Rich he axed whut was the matter
with young Nance. An' ole Nance jes
snorted. Atter a while Rich says:
``Harve,'' says he, ``who tol' you that
I said that word agin you an' Nance?''
``Abe Shivers,'' says Harve. ``An' who
tol' you,'' says Harve, ``that I said that
word agin Nance an' you?'' ``Abe Shivers,''
says Rich. An' both says, ``Well,
damn me!'' An' Rich tu'ned right
over an' begun pullin' straws out'n the
bed. He got two out, an' he bit one
off, an' he says: ``Harve,'' says he, ``I
reckon we better draw fer him. The
shortes' gits him.'' An' they drawed.
Well, nobody ever knowed which got
the shortes' straw, stranger, but--
Thar'll be a dancin'-party comin'
Christmas night on ``Hell fer Sartain.''
Rich Harp 'll be thar from the head-
waters. Harve Hall's a-goin' to tote
the Widder Shivers clean across the
Cumberlan'. Fust one 'll swing Nance,
an' then t'other. Then they'll take a
pull out'n the same bottle o' moonshine,
an'--fust one an' then t'other--
they'll swing her agin, jes the same.
Abe won't be thar. He's a-settin' by
a bigger fire, I reckon (ef he ain't in
it), a-bitin' his thumbs!