As the day advanced, the sun beat down with an ever-increasing
heat, and what with this and the dust I presently grew very
thirsty; wherefore, as I went, I must needs conjure up tantalizing
visions of ale--of ale that foamed gloriously in tankards, that
sparkled in glasses, and gurgled deliciously from the spouts of
earthen pitchers, and I began to look about me for some inn where
these visions might be realized and my burning thirst nobly
quenched (as such a thirst deserved to be). On I went, through
this beautiful land of Kent, past tree and hedge and smiling
meadow, by hill and dale and sloping upland, while ever the sun
grew hotter, the winding road the dustier, and my mighty thirst
the mightier.
At length, reaching the brow of a hill, I espied a small inn or
hedge tavern that stood back from the glare of the road, seeming
to nestle in the shade of a great tree, and joyfully I hastened
toward it.
As I approached I heard loud voices, raised as though in
altercation, and a hat came hurtling through the open doorway
and, bounding into the road, rolled over and over to my very
feet. And, looking down at it, I saw that it was a very ill-used
hat, frayed and worn, dented of crown and broken of brim, yet
beneath its sordid shabbiness there lurked the dim semblance of
what it had once been, for, in the scratched and tarnished
buckle, in the jaunty curl of the brim, it still preserved a
certain pitiful air of rakishness; wherefore, I stooped, and,
picking it up, began to brush the dust from it as well as I
might.
I was thus engaged when there arose a sudden bull-like roar and,
glancing up, I beheld a man who reeled backwards out of the inn
and who, after staggering a yard or so, thudded down into the
road and so lay, staring vacantly up at the sky. Before I could
reach him, however, he got upon his legs and, crossing unsteadily
to the tree I have mentioned, leaned there, and I saw there was
much blood upon his face which he essayed to wipe away with the
cuff of his coat. Now, upon his whole person, from the crown of
his unkempt head down to his broken, dusty boots, there yet clung
that air of jaunty, devil-may-care rakishness which I had seen,
and pitied in his hat.
Observing, as I came up, how heavily he leaned against the tree,
and noting the extreme pallor of his face and the blank gaze of
his sunken eyes, I touched him upon the shoulder.
"Sir, I trust you are not hurt?" said I.
"Thank you," he answered, his glance still wandering, "not in the
least--assure you--merely tap on the nose, sir--unpleasant--damnably,
but no more, no more."
"I think," said I, holding out the battered hat, "I think this is
yours?"
His eye encountering it in due time, he reached out his hand
somewhat fumblingly, and took it from me with a slight movement
of the head and shoulders that might have been a bow.
"Thank you--yes--should know it among a thousand," said he
dreamily, "an old friend and a tried--a very much tried one--many
thanks." With which words he clapped the much-tried friend upon
his head, and with another movement that might have been a bow,
turned short round and strode away. And as he went, despite the
careless swing of his shoulder, his legs seemed to falter somewhat
in their stride and once I thought he staggered; yet, as I watched,
half minded to follow after him, he settled his hat more firmly
with a light tap upon the crown and, thrusting his hands into the
pockets of his threadbare coat, fell to whistling lustily, and so,
turning a bend in the road, vanished from my sight.
And presently, my thirst recurring to me, I approached the inn,
and descending three steps entered its cool shade. Here I found
four men, each with his pipe and tankard, to whom a large,
red-faced, big-fisted fellow was holding forth in a high state of
heat and indignation.
"Wot's England a-comin' to?--that's wot I wants to know," he was
saying; "wot's England a-comin' to when thievin' robbers can come
a-walkin' in on you a-stealin' a pint o' your best ale out o' your
very own tankard under your very own nose--wot's it a-comin' to?"
"Ah!" nodded the others solemnly, "that's it, Joel--wot?"
"W'y," growled the red-faced innkeeper, bringing his big fist
down with a bang, "it's a-comin' to per--dition; that's wot it's
a-comin' to!"
"And wot," inquired a rather long, bony man with a face half-hidden
in sandy whisker, "wot might per--dition be, Joel; likewise, wheer?"
"You must be a danged fule, Tom, my lad!" retorted he whom they
called Joel, redder in the face than ever.
"Ay, that ye must!" chorused the others.
"I only axed 'wot an' wheer."
"Only axed, did ye?" repeated Joel scornfully,
"Ah," nodded the other, "that's all."
"But you're always a-axin', you are," said Joel gloomily.
"W'ich I notice," retorted the man Tom, blowing into his tankard,
"w'ich I notice as you ain't never over-fond o' answerin'."
"Oh!--I ain't, ain't I?"
"No, you ain't," repeated Tom, "nohow."
Here the red-faced man grew so very red indeed that the others
fell to coughing, all together, and shuffling their feet and
giving divers other evidences of their embarrassment, all save
the unimpressionable Tom.
Seizing the occasion that now presented itself, I knocked loudly
upon the floor with my stick, whereupon the red-faced man,
removing his eyes slowly and by degrees from the unconcerned Tom,
fixed them darkly upon me.
"Supposing," said I, "supposing you are so very obliging as to
serve me with a pint of ale?"
"Then supposin' you show me the color o' your money?" he growled,
"come, money fust; I aren't takin' no more risks."
For answer I laid the coins before him. And having pocketed the
money, he filled and thrust a foaming tankard towards me, which I
emptied forthwith and called upon him for another.
"Wheer's your money?"
"Here," said I, tossing a sixpence to him, "and you can keep the
change."
"Why, ye see, sir," he began, somewhat mollified, "it be precious
'ard to know who's a gentleman, an' who ain't; who's a thief, an'
who ain't these days."
"How so?"
"Why, only a little while ago--just afore you--chap comes a-walkin'
in 'ere, no account much to look at, but very 'aughty for all
that--comes a-walkin in 'ere 'e do an' calls for a pint o' ale--you
'eard 'im, all on ye?" He broke off, turning to the others; "you
all 'eard 'im call for a pint o' ale?"
"Ah--we 'eard 'im," they nodded.
"Comes a-walkin' in 'ere 'e do, bold as brass--calls for a pint
o' ale--drinks it off, an'--'ands me 'is 'at; you all seen 'im
'and me 'is 'at?" he inquired, once more addressing the others.
"Every man of us," the four chimed in with four individual nods.
"'Wot's this 'ere?' says I, turnin' it over. 'It's a 'at, or once
was,' says 'e. 'Well, I don't want it,' says I. 'Since you've
got it you'd better keep it,' says 'e. 'Wot for?' says I? 'Why,'
says 'e, 'it's only fair seein' I've got your ale--it's a case of
exchange,' says 'e. 'Oh! is it?' says I, an' pitched the thing
out into the road an' 'im arter it--an' so it ended. An' wot,"
said the red-faced man nodding his big head at me, "wot d'ye
think o' that now?"
"Why, I think you were perhaps a trifle hasty," said I.
"Oh, ye do, do ye?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"An' for why?"
"Well, you will probably remember that the hat had a band round
it--"
"Ay, all wore away it were too--"
"And that in the band was a buckle--"
"Ay, all scratched an' rusty it were--well?"
"Well, that tarnished buckle was of silver--"
"Silver!" gasped the man, his jaw falling.
"And easily worth five shillings, perhaps more, so that I think
you were, upon the whole, rather hasty." Saying which, I
finished my ale and, taking up my staff, stepped out into the
sunshine.