One Sabbath day in the beginning of the century the Auld Licht minister
at Thrums walked out of his battered, ramshackle, earthen-floored kirk
with a following and never returned. The last words he uttered in it
were: "Follow me to the commonty, all you persons who want to hear the
Word of God properly preached; and James Duphie and his two sons will
answer for this on the Day of Judgment." The congregation, which
belonged to the body who seceded from the Established Church a hundred
and fifty years ago, had split, and as the New Lights (now the U.P.'s)
were in the majority, the Old Lights, with the minister at their head,
had to retire to the commonty (or common) and hold service in the open
air until they had saved up money for a church. They kept possession,
however, of the white manse among the trees. Their kirk has but a
cluster of members now, most of them old and done, but each is equal
to a dozen ordinary churchgoers, and there have been men and women
among them on whom memory loves to linger. For forty years they have
been dying out, but their cold, stiff pews still echo the Psalms of
David, and the Auld Licht kirk will remain open so long as it has one
member and a minister.
The church stands round the corner from the square, with only a
large door to distinguish it from the other buildings in the short
street. Children who want to do a brave thing hit this door with
their fists, when there is no one near, and then run away scared.
The door, however, is sacred to the memory of a white-haired old
lady who, not so long ago, used to march out of the kirk and remain
on the pavement until the psalm which had just been given out was
sung. Of Thrums' pavement it may here be said that when you come,
even to this day, to a level slab you will feel reluctant to leave
it. The old lady was Mistress (which is Miss) Tibbie McQuhatty, and
she nearly split the Auld Licht kirk over "run line." This
conspicuous innovation was introduced by Mr. Dishart, the minister,
when he was young and audacious. The old, reverent custom in the
kirk was for the precentor to read out the psalm a line at a time.
Having then sung that line he read out the next one, led the singing
of it, and so worked his way on to line three. Where run line holds,
however, the psalms is read out first, and forthwith sung. This is
not only a flighty way of doing things, which may lead to greater
scandals, but has its practical disadvantages, for the precentor
always starts singing in advance of the congregation (Auld Lichts
never being able to begin to do anything all at once), and,
increasing the distance with every line, leaves them hopelessly
behind at the finish. Miss McQuhatty protested against this change,
as meeting the devil half way, but the minister carried his point,
and ever after that she rushed ostentatiously from the church the
moment a psalm was given out, and remained behind the door until the
singing was finished, when she returned, with a rustle, to her seat.
Run line had on her the effect of the reading of the Riot Act. Once
some men, capable of anything, held the door from the outside, and
the congregation heard Tibbie rampaging in the passage. Bursting
into the kirk she called the office-bearers to her assistance,
whereupon the minister in miniature raised his voice and demanded
the why and wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the
hubbub, but the door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived
at. The old lady consented for once to stand in the passage, but not
without pressing her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but
ah! I know what she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the
hard look had gone from her eyes, and it would ill become me to
smile too.
As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the
Auld Licht one much too large. The stair to the "laft" or gallery,
which was originally little more than ladder, is ready for you as
soon as you enter the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of
the kirk. The plate for collections is inside the church, so that
the whole congregation can give a guess at what you give. If it is
something very stingy or very liberal, all Thrums knows of it within
a few hours; indeed, this holds good of all the churches, especially
perhaps of the Free one, which has been called the bawbee kirk,
because so many halfpennies find their way into the plate. On
Saturday nights the Thrums shops are besieged for coppers by
housewives of all denominations, who would as soon think of dropping
a threepenny bit into the plate as of giving nothing. Tammy Todd had
a curious way of tipping his penny into the Auld Licht plate while
still keeping his hand to his side. He did it much as a boy fires a
marble, and there was quite a talk in the congregation the first
time he missed. A devout plan was to carry your penny in your hand
all the way to church, but to appear to take it out of your pocket
on entering, and some plumped it down noisily like men paying their
way. I believe old Snecky Hobart, who was a canty stock but
obstinate, once dropped a penny into the plate and took out a
halfpenny as change, but the only untoward thing that happened to
the plate was once when the lassie from the farm of Curly Bog
capsized it in passing. Mr. Dishart, who was always a ready man,
introduced something into his sermon that day about women's dress,
which every one hoped Christy Lundy, the lassie in question, would
remember. Nevertheless, the minister sometimes came to a sudden stop
himself when passing from the vestry to the pulpit. The passage
being narrow, his rigging would catch in a pew as he sailed down the
aisle. Even then, however, Mr. Dishart remembered that he was not as
other men.
White is not a religious color, and the walls of the kirk were of a
dull gray. A cushion was allowed to the manse pew, but merely as a
symbol of office, and this was the only pew in the church that had a
door. It was and is the pew nearest to the pulpit on the minister's
right, and one day it contained a bonnet, which Mr. Dishart's
predecessor preached at for one hour and ten minutes. From the
pulpit, which was swaddled in black, the minister had a fine sweep
of all the congregation except those in the back pews downstairs,
who were lost in the shadow of the laft. Here sat Whinny Webster, so
called because, having an inexplicable passion against them, he
devoted his life to the extermination of whins. Whinny for years ate
peppermint lozenges with impunity in his back seat, safe in the
certainty that the minister, however much he might try, could not
possibly see him. But his day came. One afternoon the kirk smelt of
peppermints, and Mr. Dishart could rebuke no one, for the defaulter
was not in sight. Whinny's cheek was working up and down in quiet
enjoyment of its lozenge, when he started, noticing that the
preaching had stopped. Then he heard a sepulchral voice say "Charles
Webster!" Whinny's eyes turned to the pulpit, only part of which was
visible to him, and to his horror they encountered the minister's
head coming down the stairs. This took place after I had ceased to
attend the Auld Licht kirk regularly; but I am told that as Whinny
gave one wild scream the peppermint dropped from his mouth. The
minister had got him by leaning over the pulpit door until, had he
given himself only another inch, his feet would have gone into the
air. As for Whinny he became a God-fearing man.
The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box
beneath the pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I
can only conceive one precentor. Lang Tammas' box was much too small
for him. Since his disappearance from Thrums I believe they have
paid him the compliment of enlarging it for a smaller man, no doubt
with the feeling that Tammas alone could look like a Christian in
it. Like the whole congregation, of course, he had to stand during
the prayers--the first of which averaged half an hour in length. If
he stood erect his head and shoulders vanished beneath funereal
trappings, when he seemed decapitated, and if he stretched his neck
the pulpit tottered. He looked like the pillar on which it rested,
or he balanced it on his head like a baker's tray. Sometimes he
leaned forward as reverently as he could, and then, with his long,
lean arms dangling over the side of his box, he might have been a
suit of "blacks" hung up to dry. Once I was talking with Cree Queery
in a sober, respectable manner, when all at once a light broke out
on his face. I asked him what he was laughing at, and he said it was
at Lang Tammas. He got grave again when I asked him what there was
in Lang Tammas to smile at, and admitted that he could not tell me.
However, I have always been of opinion that the thought of the
precentor in his box gave Cree a fleeting sense of humor.
Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church,
Hendry being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they
had in common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it,
shoemaker being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was
also his workshop. There he sat in his "brot," or apron, from early
morning to far on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or
eight shillings a week. I have often sat with him in the darkness
that his "cruizey" lamp could not pierce, while his mutterings to
himself of "ay, ay, yes, umpha, oh ay, ay man," came as regularly
and monotonously as the tick of his "wag-at-the-wa'" clock. Hendry
and he were paid no fixed sum for their services in the Auld Licht
kirk, but once a year there was a collection for each of them, and
so they jogged along. Though not the only kirk-officer of my time
Hendry made the most lasting impression. He was, I think, the only
man in Thrums who did not quake when the minister looked at him. A
wild story, never authenticated, says that Hendry once offered Mr.
Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets Lang Tammas was more
stern and dreaded by evil-doers, but Hendry had first place in the
kirk. One of his duties was to precede the minister from the
session-house to the pulpit and open the door for him. Having shut
Mr. Dishart in he strolled away to his seat. When a strange minister
preached, Hendry was, if possible, still more at his ease. This will
not be believed, but I have seen him give the pulpit-door on these
occasions a fling to with his feet. However ill an ordinary member
of the congregation might become in the kirk he sat on till the
service ended, but Hendry would wander to the door and shut it if he
noticed that the wind was playing irreverent tricks with the pages
of Bibles, and proof could still be brought forward that he would
stop deliberately in the aisle to lift up a piece of paper, say,
that had floated there. After the first psalm had been sung it was
Hendry's part to lift up the plate and carry its tinkling contents
to the session-house. On the greatest occasions he remained so calm,
so indifferent, so expressionless, that he might have been present
the night before at a rehearsal.
When there was preaching at night the church was lit by tallow
candles, which also gave out all the artificial heat provided. Two
candles stood on each side of the pulpit, and others were scattered
over the church, some of them fixed into holes on rough brackets,
and some merely sticking in their own grease on the pews. Hendry
superintended the lighting of the candles, and frequently hobbled
through the church to snuff them. Mr. Dishart was a man who could do
anything except snuff a candle, but when he stopped in his sermon to
do that he as often as not knocked the candle over. In vain he
sought to refix it in its proper place, and then all eyes turned to
Hendry. As coolly as though he were in a public hall or place of
entertainment, the kirk-officer arose and, mounting the stair, took
the candle from the minister's reluctant hands and put it right.
Then he returned to his seat, not apparently puffed up, yet perhaps
satisfied with himself; while Mr. Dishart, glaring after him to see
if he was carrying his head high, resumed his wordy way.
Never was there a man more uncomfortably loved than Mr. Dishart.
Easie Haggart, his maid-servant, reproved him at the breakfast
table. Lang Tammas and Sam'l Mealmaker crouched for five successive
Sabbath nights on his manse-wall to catch him smoking (and got him).
Old wives grumbled by their hearths when he did not look in to
despair of their salvation. He told the maidens of his congregation
not to make an idol of him. His session saw him (from behind a
haystack) in conversation with a strange woman, and asked grimly if
he remembered that he had a wife. Twenty were his years when he came
to Thrums, and on the very first Sabbath he knocked a board out of
the pulpit. Before beginning his trial sermon he handed down the big
Bible to the precentor, to give his arms free swing. The
congregation, trembling with exhilaration, probed his meaning. Not a
square inch of paper, they saw, could be concealed there. Mr.
Dishart had scarcely any hope for the Auld Lichts; he had none for
any other denomination. Davit Lunan got behind his handkerchief to
think for a moment, and the minister was on him like a tiger. The
call was unanimous. Davit proposed him.
Every few years, as one might say, the Auld Licht kirk gave way and
buried its minister. The congregation turned their empty pockets
inside out, and the minister departed in a farmer's cart. The scene
was not an amusing one to those who looked on at it. To the Auld
Lichts was then the humiliation of seeing their pulpit "supplied" on
alternate Sabbaths by itinerant probationers or stickit ministers.
When they were not starving themselves to support a pastor the Auld
Lichts were saving up for a stipend. They retired with compressed
lips to their looms, and weaved and weaved till they weaved another
minister. Without the grief of parting with one minister there could
not have been the transport of choosing another. To have had a
pastor always might have made them vain-glorious.
They were seldom longer than twelve months in making a selection,
and in their haste they would have passed over Mr. Dishart and mated
with a monster. Many years have elapsed since Providence flung Mr.
Watts out of the Auld Licht kirk. Mr. Watts was a probationer who
was tried before Mr. Dishart, and, though not so young as might have
been wished, he found favor in many eyes. "Sluggard in the laft,
awake!" he cried to Bell Whamond, who had forgotten herself, and it
was felt that there must be good stuff in him. A breeze from Heaven
exposed him on Communion Sabbath.
On the evening of this solemn day the door of the Auld Licht kirk
was sometimes locked, and the congregation repaired, Bible in hand,
to the commonty. They had a right to this common on the Communion
Sabbath, but only took advantage of it when it was believed that
more persons intended witnessing the evening service than the kirk
would hold. On this day the attendance was always very great.
It was the Covenanters come back to life. To the summit of the slope
a wooden box was slowly hurled by Hendry Munn and others, and round
this the congregation quietly grouped to the tinkle of the cracked
Auld Licht bell. With slow, majestic tread the session advanced upon
the steep common with the little minister in their midst. He had the
people in his hands now, and the more he squeezed them the better
they were pleased. The travelling pulpit consisted of two
compartments, the one for the minister and the other for Lang
Tammas, but no Auld Licht thought that it looked like a Punch and
Judy puppet show. This service on the common was known as the "tent
preaching," owing to a tent's being frequently used instead of the
box.
Mr. Watts was conducting the service on the commonty. It was a fine,
still summer evening, and loud above the whisper of the burn from
which the common climbs, and the labored "pechs" of the listeners,
rose the preacher's voice. The Auld Lichts in their rusty blacks
(they must have been a more artistic sight in the olden days of blue
bonnets and knee-breeches) nodded their heads in sharp approval, for
though they could swoop down on a heretic like an eagle on carrion,
they scented no prey. Even Lang Tammas, on whose nose a drop of
water gathered when he was in his greatest fettle, thought that all
was fair and above-board. Suddenly a rush of wind tore up the
common, and ran straight at the pulpit. It formed in a sieve, and
passed over the heads of the congregation, who felt it as a fan, and
looked up in awe. Lang Tammas, feeling himself all at once grow
clammy, distinctly heard the leaves of the pulpit Bible shiver. Mr.
Watts' hands, outstretched to prevent a catastrophe, were blown
against his side, and then some twenty sheets of closely written
paper floated into the air. There was a horrible, dead silence. The
burn was roaring now. The minister, if such he can be called, shrank
back in his box, and as if they had seen it printed in letters of
fire on the heavens, the congregation realized that Mr. Watts, whom
they had been on the point of calling, read his sermon. He wrote it
out on pages the exact size of those in the Bible, and did not
scruple to fasten these into the Holy Book itself. At theatres a
sullen thunder of angry voices behind the scene represents a crowd
in a rage, and such a low, long-drawn howl swept the common when Mr.
Watts was found out. To follow a pastor who "read" seemed to the
Auld Lichts like claiming heaven on false pretences. In ten minutes
the session alone, with Lang Tammas and Hendry, were on the common.
They were watched by many from afar off, and (when one comes to
think of it now) looked a little curious jumping, like trout at
flies, at the damning papers still fluttering in the air. The
minister was never seen in our parts again, but he is still
remembered as "Paper Watts."
Mr. Dishart in the pulpit was the reward of his upbringing. At ten
he had entered the university. Before he was in his teens he was
practising the art of gesticulation in his father's gallery pew.
From distant congregations people came to marvel at him. He was
never more than comparatively young. So long as the pulpit trappings
of the kirk at Thrums lasted he could be seen, once he was fairly
under way with his sermon, but dimly in a cloud of dust. He
introduced headaches. In a grand transport of enthusiasm he once
flung his arms over the pulpit and caught Lang Tammas on the
forehead. Leaning forward, with his chest on the cushions, he would
pommel the Evil One with both hands, and then, whirling round to the
left, shake his fist at Bell Whamond's neckerchief. With a sudden
jump he would fix Pete Todd's youngest boy catching flies at the
laft window. Stiffening unexpectedly, he would leap three times in
the air, and then gather himself in a corner for a fearsome spring.
When he wept he seemed to be laughing, and he laughed in a paroxysm
of tears. He tried to tear the devil out of the pulpit rails. When
he was not a teetotum he was a windmill. His pump position was the
most appalling. Then he glared motionless at his admiring listeners,
as if he had fallen into a trance with his arm upraised. The
hurricane broke next moment. Nanny Sutie bore up under the shadow of
the windmill--which would have been heavier had Auld Licht ministers
worn gowns--but the pump affected her to tears. She was stone-deaf.
For the first year or more of his ministry an Auld Licht minister
was a mouse among cats. Both in the pulpit and out of it they
watched for unsound doctrine, and when he strayed they took him by
the neck. Mr. Dishart, however, had been brought up in the true way,
and seldom gave his people a chance. In time, it may be said, they
grew despondent, and settled in their uncomfortable pews with all
suspicion of lurking heresy allayed. It was only on such Sabbaths as
Mr. Dishart changed pulpits with another minister that they cocked
their ears and leaned forward eagerly to snap the preacher up.
Mr. Dishart had his trials. There was the split in the kirk, too,
that comes once at least to every Auld Licht minister. He was long
in marrying. The congregation were thinking of approaching him,
through the medium of his servant, Easie Haggart, on the subject of
matrimony; for a bachelor coming on for twenty-two, with an income
of eighty pounds per annum, seemed an anomaly--when one day he took
the canal for Edinburgh and returned with his bride. His people
nodded their heads, but said nothing to the minister. If he did not
choose to take them into his confidence, it was no affair of theirs.
That there was something queer about the marriage, however, seemed
certain. Sandy Whamond, who was a soured man after losing his
eldership, said that he believed she had been an "Englishy"--in
other words, had belonged to the English Church; but it is not
probable that Mr. Dishart would have gone the length of that. The
secret is buried in his grave.
Easie Haggart jagged the minister sorely. She grew loquacious with
years, and when he had company would stand at the door joining in
the conversation. If the company was another minister, she would
take a chair and discuss Mr. Dishart's infirmities with him. The
Auld Lichts loved their minister, but they saw even more clearly
than himself the necessity for his humiliation. His wife made all
her children's clothes, but Sanders Gow complained that she looked
too like their sister. In one week three of the children died, and
on the Sabbath following it rained. Mr. Dishart preached, twice
breaking down altogether and gaping strangely round the kirk (there
was no dust flying that day), and spoke of the rain as angels' tears
for three little girls. The Auld Lichts let it pass, but, as Lang
Tammas said in private (for, of course, the thing was much discussed
at the looms), if you materialize angels in that way, where are you
going to stop?
It was on the fast-days that the Auld Licht kirk showed what it was
capable of, and, so to speak, left all the other churches in Thrums
far behind. The fast came round once every summer, beginning on a
Thursday, when all the looms were hushed, and two services were held
in the kirk of about three hours' length each. A minister from
another town assisted at these times, and when the service ended the
members filed in at one door and out at another, passing on their
way Mr. Dishart and his elders, who dispensed "tokens" at the foot
of the pulpit. Without a token, which was a metal lozenge, no one
could take the sacrament on the coming Sabbath, and many a member
has Mr. Dishart made miserable by refusing him his token for
gathering wild-flowers, say, on a Lord's Day (as testified to by
another member). Women were lost who cooked dinners on the Sabbath,
or took to colored ribbons, or absented themselves from church
without sufficient cause. On the fast-day fists were shaken at Mr.
Dishart as he walked sternly homeward, but he was undismayed. Next
day there were no services in the kirk, for Auld Lichts could not
afford many holidays, but they weaved solemnly, with Saturday and
the Sabbath and Monday to think of. On Saturday service began at two
and lasted until nearly seven. Two sermons were preached, but there
was no interval. The sacrament was dispensed on the Sabbath.
Nowadays the "tables" in the Auld Licht kirk are soon "served," for
the attendance has decayed, and most of the pews in the body of the
church are made use of. In the days of which I speak, however, the
front pews alone were hung with white, and it was in them only the
sacrament was administered. As many members as could get into them
delivered up their tokens and took the first table. Then they made
room for others, who sat in their pews awaiting their turn. What
with tables, the preaching, and unusually long prayers, the service
lasted from eleven to six. At half-past six a two hours' service
began, either in the kirk or on the common, from which no one who
thought much about his immortal soul would have dared (or cared) to
absent himself. A four hours' service on the Monday, which, like
that of the Saturday, consisted of two services in one, but began at
eleven instead of two, completed the programme.
On those days, if you were a poor creature and wanted to acknowledge
it, you could leave the church for a few minutes and return to it,
but the creditable thing was to sit on. Even among the children
there was a keen competition, fostered by their parents, to sit each
other out, and be in at the death.
The other Thrums kirks held the sacrament at the same time, but not
with the same vehemence. As far north from the school-house as
Thrums is south of it, nestles the little village of Quharity, and
there the fast-day was not a day of fasting. In most cases the
people had to go many miles to church. They drove or rode (two on a
horse), or walked in from other glens. Without "the tents,"
therefore, the congregation, with a long day before them, would have
been badly off. Sometimes one tent sufficed; at other times rival
publicans were on the ground. The tents were those in use at the
feeing and other markets, and you could get anything inside them,
from broth made in a "boiler" to the firiest whiskey. They were
planted just outside the kirk-gate--long, low tents of dirty white
canvas--so that when passing into the church or out of it you
inhaled their odors. The congregation emerged austerely from the
church, shaking their heads solemnly over the minister's remarks,
and their feet carried them into the tent. There was no mirth, no
unseemly revelry, but there was a great deal of hard drinking.
Eventually the tents were done away with, but not until the services
on the fast-days were shortened. The Auld Licht ministers were the
only ones who preached against the tents with any heart, and since
the old dominie, my predecessor at the school-house, died, there has
not been an Auld Licht permanently resident in the glen of Quharity.
Perhaps nothing took it out of the Auld Licht males so much as a
christening. Then alone they showed symptoms of nervousness, more
especially after the remarkable baptism of Eppie Whamond. I could
tell of several scandals in connection with the kirk. There was, for
instance, the time when Easie Haggart saved the minister. In a fit
of temporary mental derangement the misguided man had one Sabbath
day, despite the entreaties of his affrighted spouse, called at the
post-office, and was on the point of reading the letter there
received when Easie, who had slipped on her bonnet and followed him,
snatched the secular thing from his hands. There was the story that
ran like fire through Thrums and crushed an innocent man, to the
effect that Pete Todd had been in an Edinburgh theatre countenancing
the play-actors. Something could be made, too, of the retribution
that came to Charlie Ramsay, who woke in his pew to discover that
its other occupant, his little son Jamie, was standing on the seat
divesting himself of his clothes in presence of a horrified
congregation. Jamie had begun stealthily, and had very little on
when Charlie seized him. But having my choice of scandals I prefer
the christening one--the unique case of Eppie Whamond, who was born
late on Saturday night and baptized in the kirk on the following
forenoon.
To the casual observer the Auld Licht always looked as if he were
returning from burying a near relative. Yet when I met him hobbling
down the street, preternaturally grave and occupied, experience
taught me that he was preparing for a christening. How the minister
would have borne himself in the event of a member of his congregation's
wanting the baptism to take place at home it is not easy to say; but I
shudder to think of the public prayers for the parents that would
certainly have followed. The child was carried to the kirk through
rain, or snow, or sleet, or wind; the father took his seat alone in the
front pew, under the minister's eye, and the service was prolonged far
on into the afternoon. But though the references in the sermon to that
unhappy object of interest in the front pew were many and pointed, his
time had not really come until the minister signed to him to advance
as far as the second step of the pulpit stairs. The nervous father
clenched the railing in a daze, and cowered before the ministerial
heckling. From warning the minister passed to exhortation, from
exhortation to admonition, from admonition to searching questioning,
from questioning to prayer and wailing. When the father glanced up,
there was the radiant boy in the pulpit looking as if he would like
to jump down his throat. If he hung his head the minister would ask,
with a groan, whether he was unprepared; and the whole congregation
would sigh out the response that Mr. Dishart had hit it. When he
replied audibly to the minister's uncomfortable questions, a pained
look at his flippancy travelled from the pulpit all round the pews;
and when he only bowed his head in answer, the minister paused sternly,
and the congregation wondered what the man meant. Little wonder that
Davie Haggart took to drinking when his turn came for occupying that
front pew.
If wee Eppie Whamond's birth had been deferred until the beginning
of the week, or humility had shown more prominently among her
mother's virtues, the kirk would have been saved a painful scandal,
and Sandy Whamond might have retained his eldership. Yet it was a
foolish but wifely pride in her husband's official position that
turned Bell Dundas' head--a wild ambition to beat all baptismal
record.
Among the wives she was esteemed a poor body whose infant did not
see the inside of the kirk within a fortnight of its birth. Forty
years ago it was an accepted superstition in Thrums that the ghosts
of children who had died before they were baptized went wailing and
wringing their hands round the kirk-yard at nights, and that they
would continue to do this until the crack of doom. When the Auld
Licht children grew up, too, they crowed over those of their fellows
whose christening had been deferred until a comparatively late date,
and the mothers who had needlessly missed a Sabbath for long
afterward hung their heads. That was a good and creditable birth
which took place early in the week, thus allowing time for suitable
christening preparations; while to be born on a Friday or a Saturday
was to humiliate your parents, besides being an extremely ominous
beginning for yourself. Without seeking to vindicate Bell Dundas'
behavior, I may note, as an act of ordinary fairness, that, being
the leading elder's wife, she was sorely tempted. Eppie made her
appearance at 9:45 on a Saturday night.
In the hurry and skurry that ensued, Sandy escaped sadly to the
square. His infant would be baptized eight days old--one of the
longest deferred christenings of the year. Sandy was shivering under
the clock when I met him accidentally, and took him home. But by that
time the harm had been done. Several of the congregation had been
roused from their beds to hear his lamentations, of whom the men
sympathized with him, while the wives triumphed austerely over Bell
Dundas. As I wrung poor Sandy's hand, I hardly noticed that a bright
light showed distinctly between the shutters of his kitchen-window;
but the elder himself turned pale and breathed quickly. It was then
fourteen minutes past twelve.
My heart sank within me on the following forenoon, when Sandy
Whamond walked, with a queer twitching face, into the front pew
under a glare of eyes from the body of the kirk and the laft. An
amazed buzz went round the church, followed by a pursing up of lips
and hurried whisperings. Evidently Sandy had been driven to it
against his own judgment. The scene is still vivid before me: the
minister suspecting no guile, and omitting the admonitory stage out
of compliment to the elder's standing; Sandy's ghastly face; the
proud godmother (aged twelve) with the squalling baby in her arms;
the horror of the congregation to a man and woman. A slate fell from
Sandy's house even as he held up the babe to the minister to receive
a "droukin'" of water, and Eppie cried so vigorously that her shamed
godmother had to rush with her to the vestry. Now things are not as
they should be when an Auld Licht infant does not quietly sit out
her first service.
Bell tried for a time to carry her head high; but Sandy ceased to
whistle at his loom, and the scandal was a rolling stone that soon
passed over him. Briefly it amounted to this: that a bairn born
within two hours of midnight on Saturday could not have been ready
for christening at the kirk next day without the breaking of the
Sabbath. Had the secret of the nocturnal light been mine alone all
might have been well; but Betsy Mund's evidence was irrefutable.
Great had been Bell's cunning, but Betsy had outwitted her. Passing
the house on the eventful night, Betsy had observed Marget Dundas,
Bell's sister, open the door and creep cautiously to the window, the
chinks in the outside shutters of which she cunningly closed up with
"tow." As in a flash the disgusted Betsy saw what Bell was up to,
and, removing the tow, planted herself behind the dilapidated dyke
opposite and awaited events. Questioned at a special meeting of the
office-bearers in the vestry, she admitted that the lamp was
extinguished soon after twelve o'clock, though the fire burned
brightly all night. There had been unnecessary feasting during the
night, and six eggs were consumed before breakfast-time. Asked how
she knew this, she admitted having counted the eggshells that Marget
had thrown out of doors in the morning. This, with the testimony of
the persons from whom Sandy had sought condolence on the Saturday
night, was the case for the prosecution. For the defence, Bell
maintained that all preparations stopped when the clock struck
twelve, and even hinted that the bairn had been born on Saturday
afternoon. But Sandy knew that he and his had got a fall. In the
forenoon of the following Sabbath the minister preached from the
text, "Be sure your sin will find you out;" and in the afternoon
from "Pride goeth before a fall." He was grand. In the evening Sandy
tendered his resignation of office, which was at once accepted. Webs
were behind-hand for a week, owing to the length of the prayers
offered up for Bell; and Lang Tammas ruled in Sandy's stead.